Comfortable in My Own Skin

I was listening to a radio interview with Jane Fonda the other day. She was talking about some of the changes she has experienced as she’s grown older. The one that stuck with me was this. She said that in her earlier years whenever she woke to a new day her first several thoughts were all negative.

I’m sure we all know what she’s talking about. Negative thoughts run rampant in many of us. Most of those thoughts are based on judgements we are making about ourselves or others. The content may vary slightly between individuals but the gist is the same.

Am I good enough? Should I be doing this or not doing that? Do I have enough stuff? These questions plague us. We live and breathe them trying to ensure that we fit in, measure up, conform, behave.

But, then Jane said something interesting. One morning she woke up and realized she felt happier. Her first thoughts had not been judgmental. Trying to figure out what had changed she said she came to the realization that she had given up worrying what everyone else thought about her. I wondered about that and sat quietly for a few minutes and took inventory.

 

I live in a place I love – that others think is weird and possibly dangerous. I work at home – writing – a profession that is anything but lucrative but that keeps me energized and interested. I wear clothes that are comfortable and sensible shoes. I don’t wear make-up. I am not a perfect 10.

 I’m not so comfortable all the time. There are still plenty of situations  that lead to negative thoughts and self-judgements, worries and complaints – but in general, I  am no longer as tied to the conventions that hold dominion over so many of us.

And yes – I think this freedom has come with age. Maybe for some enlightened people, this empowering knowledge arrives earlier but for me it has crept up until one day, just like Jane Fonda, I realized I am more content than I have ever been.